So I just finished another 2 day cleanse.
6:30 am...I weighed myself.
I didn't loose anything.
I didn't gain anything.
SIGH.
I started to cry when I went to lay back down in bed. My whole last week ran through my mind. What did I eat that I shouldn't have? Too much sweets? Not enough exercise?
Why can't I loose like these other girls on FB & Instagram who are posting flat belly pics and before/after pics in there bathing suits??
I have ALMOST changed my eating habits and I try to do at least 30 min workout a day. Even if it's just walking in place in my living room (because some days are just hard...).
Why do I have to struggle? Why can't my progress show the same?
I want To scream WHY?!?!
I really don't want the before/after pics. I just want this weight off. I want my life back. I want to be able to move, have more energy, feel comfortable when someone wants to take my picture...
Today is a new day. I will not let last week worry me. I'm going to try harder... I got this.
It's been almost 2 months since I started my health challenge.
I don't like to call it a "diet" because I'm not really on one. I'm making a lifestyle change. It's TOTALLY different.
To me, I starve when I diet and then I mess up & quit. I try really hard and get NO WHERE.
My health challenge has taught me SOOOO much. I have learned A LOT about myself.
Yes I've been made fun of and you all think I'm crazy when I tell you what I've been doing. BUT I've gotta go through the hard stuff to get where it CAN be easy for me.
And I'm getting there.
One thing I will say.... I have NOT starved myself. Just because I don't eat a meal one day and have a shake or I don't eat on my "cleanse days" .... I've never been hungry. I've never starved myself. I eat snacks.
I'm on an eating schedule.
It works for me.
It COULD work for you too, if you want to try/give it a chance. But you have to WANT it.
I haven't weighed myself in over a week but I've lost 28 pounds. It may not seem like much to you but for me, since April 24...
I've had maybe 2 headaches*
No lower back pain**
More energy than before
I actually rode my bike for the 1st time in years!
I count calories and totally enjoy/appreciate my chocolate snacks lol
I've met a new friend who supports me and I can text/call her anytime
Some of my clothes are not "so tight" anymore :)
I'm gaining confidence in myself.
*I usually get a headache or migraine at least 1-2x a week...
**I almost ALWAYS wake up with low back pain. No matter how I sleep, it was always an Aleve/Ice my back every morning.
So more on my back pain... I started having more pain the past 2 days. I have been using my "stepper" in the living room and I found a step routine on YouTube I enjoy doing. So with doing that, I am using my muscles more and they aren't used to being used this much so now I'm going through process of building them back up and getting them used to being used...
It sucks trying to loose weight.
And honestly, it totally sucks trying to be healthy lol
Why can't this be easy?
10, 596 steps!
WOWZA!!
it's so easy getting my steps in when I work at setting up the rummage sale in the HOT gym. I'm hoping that I'm sweating off some pounds too while I'm in there lol
Tomorrow I'm taking a day off from setting things up so we'll see how I do...I plan on being lazy because my whole body hurts. Bending and picking things up have taken their toll on my back and legs. Not to mention my ankle has been swollen every day too...ugh.
Being fat and getting older sucks....
Wow.
It's already August 1. School is about to start again. Along with all the stress of morning routines, where uniforms & shoes are each morning, and juggling my ME time and time spent volunteering(mostly)/working at the school. And yes, I tend to put others/the schools needs b4 my own.
I'm hoping to get better with this. I need to find myself again. I have become a person I'm not so familiar with...emotionally & physically. There's going to be A LOT of changes coming and I'm hoping that I can keep them up.
Today, August 1, I walked 9,856. It was pretty easy because I'm setting up the school rummage sale this week.
So my goal is to walk 248,000 steps this month. Or 117 miles ;)
That's 8,000 steps a day if you break it down.
I've got to get moving. It's been really HOT this summer and I think I've gained weight from not doing much. It's embarrassing when people think you're pregnant and you have to embarrass them too by saying, OH NO! I've just gained a lot of belly weight recently. No chance of that happening. Sorry!!!
And I'm done not being able to fit in some of my clothes.
Sigh
So I'm getting back on my Plexus also. I tried to start it a few months ago but haven't been doing it daily. Well, it's back to it now. Starting my day with my PINK drink, Slim, and ending with my Pro Bio.
AND lots and lots of WATER!!
So let's do this!
I hate the feeling of not being good enough for others. Why do we even care what others think? We all have our own opinions and that's ok. I just wish the openly judging of others would stop. Yes we sometime post TMI posts on Facebook. Duh. We all have those moments of weakness then regret it later lol
We all make choices that we think are right for us, for our family, and they end up just not working out right. And THAT'S OK.
It's called life.
If we didn't make mistakes & everything went according to plan, we'd be a bunch of spoiled rotten kids in the world.
God made us imperfectly perfect.
Yes I'm over weight and that's prob where my back issues come from...no, I KNOW that's where my back issues come from.
But I'm slowly...VERY SLOWLY...trying to get better. My back issues have caused my excersicing to slow WAY down lately.
I'll get there eventually.
It's been at least 2 YEARS since I've ridden a bike! We went out the road from our house for about half a mile then came back.
My legs & my butt HURT lol
Got that heart rate UP!
I'm sure I'll be feeling it tomorrow but it was a nice change from walking. I'm sure the kids will enjoy going with me now & we'll have to find some more places to ride!
53\300
Thursday....Soo my phone tracks my steps I take everyday. I have a goal of 6,000 steps a day.
I can seriously feel it in my legs today. I wish I got extra steps for walking UP & DOWN the stairs as much as I did today.
Friday....I didn't do as much walking up the stairs today but my legs are still sore!
56/300
......
At least I am trying, right?
When I think about it, I try to walk at a faster pace wherever I go. The kids think it's a game haha
Soo my posts haven't been publishing.
Here's 2 from last week...
Went for a walk with my family Sunday afternoon. I had to walk faster than normal to keep up with the kids on their bikes. Thankfully my hip didn't protest!
40.35
Hahaha THAT was from a post like last week.
I took a trip to Columbus with the kids & my mom & we did A LOT of walking! We walked the whole zoo (minus Africa) on Wednesday & ALL over Cosi on Thursday. Even did some shopping Thursday evening and Friday.
12 miles in 2.5 days.
That's a lot for me but I've had minimal pain! Amazing :)
I'm soo thankful my lower back and hip haven't bothered me this week.
Now, next week is SUPER busy for me with Dr appts & I'm subbing/working at school. Hopefully I'll get some milage in somehow.
52/300
