I know I can... Right?!

Wow... so it's been too long since I have posted anything. In these past years I have not been well...

I have totally gained weight back PLUS MORE. I am at my heaviest I have ever been in my life. I believe I am heavier than I was when pregnant. I totally wish I could claim to be pregnant,  but No. Sorry...
So when you look at me, yes that's just my fatness... I carry most of my weight in my belly so I look pregnant. But then, I've also got neck, face, arm... EVERYWHERE FAT. 

SOOO you're probably asking, what are you going to do about it?

Well....

I keep making plans & then the day comes & I don't start. I chicken out. I feel miserable. I want to fit in my clothes, but food... sweets.... I have an addiction. My portion control is outta control. It's embarrassing and ridiculous.

I think I can, I think I can

...NO....

I KNOW I CAN, I KNOW I CAN!

I found myself a recumbent bike online & bought it. I can only do so much on it...but I bike as long as I can. I could do more, but... 

So here's more of my problem... I've been having chest pain & shortness of breath. I'm either having severe panic attacks or something is going on with my heart. I go see heart doc in January. I've already worn a 3 day heart monitor & the results from that got me a referral to heart specialist. 

So yeah... not good at moment. Anxiety is at all time high which also makes me feel like overeating & not feeling like being active at all. 

Fingers crossed and say a prayer that I can get back to challenging myself !